Crossroad Blues

So, its been all quiet on the Eastern Front for a few weeks, and for those of you who don't know the specifics around my absence, I apologise.

From my last post, you may have been aware that I returned to England because of my mother coming down with an illness. The events that followed were traumatic, numbing and life changing for me.

I now stand at a crossroads.

Unsure of what lies at the end of each path, only the direction is solid.

To stay in Japan. To be loved by Shiori, but ultimately be consumed by guilt and self hatred.

To return home. To be the rock once again for my family, but to leave my girl. To see everything I've built become abandoned. A ruin of achievement.

To disappear. To run away from everything.

At the moment, my head is a mess of ideas. My heart pulled all over the place.

My future is cloudy, uncertain. Which way to turn ?