Chibiko's, Christmas and Confusion

It's still bitterly cold here in Saijo. I don't know the exact temperature, and it probably isn't as cold as the good old UK, but when you are awoken by your feet freezing and open your window to find about 6 inches of snow on rooftops then you know it's cold.

As my photo shows, we had snow here in Saijo on Sunday night. It was a beautiful sight, and rather suprising seeing how hot it was here only 4 months ago. Apparently it's colder here in Saijo than in Hiroshima, because we are higher in the mountains. Japanese houses also have NO central heating or insulated walls.

Anyway, whats been going on in my world ?

Well on Friday, I had to travel to Okayama for Chibiko training. The Chibiko programme is for kids aged 2-4 and classes only contain a maximum of 4. Plus 1 parent. So I have to sing, dance and act like a total loon in front of 4 Japanese ADULTS. I had to go to training with Suzette which wasn't as awkward as I thought it might be (we had a serious falling out the week before this, but I won't bore you here). We chatted and laughed, and I am trying hard to move past my feelings (Kareoke on the previous weekend also helped). I think this trip together was also rather cathartic.

Now, I just thrust straight into the fire last Saturday with my first Chibiko lesson. Lets just say that the Chibiko songs are now stuck in my head like some kind of torturous melody ("Its a triangle, Its a triangle (make triangle shape with hands), What is it ? What is it ? (shrugging of shoulders)")...

I am looking forward to coming home to the UK this Christmas. I know it's a strange thing to say, but I need to clear my head and what better time or place to do it than with your family at Christmas. All of my family (thats about 10 of us) are going to be there, which I think may be the first and probably only time.

I am confused though. The last month has been the hardest I've had here in Japan. My relationship with Suzette turned sour. I have been through a no-love period with my job. Evan is moving out so he can get a place with Kaori (it's a logical step for them and good luck to 'em). Jason is getting on my nerves so much, I fear that I'll do something I will regret...

I guess I just want to go home.

To feel loved and feel wanted.

Then I can come back and make up my mind about what I want to do...

I have thought about transferring to another school...but I think I just need to wait it out.